What that means is , no matter how high you turn up the volume on these old , broken tactics … no matter how many times you threaten to leave if things / they don ’ t change , and no matter how much blame , shame , or guilt you throw at them , it will not work to build up the relationship . You can swap this partner out for the next one ( like most folks ) and the dynamic will repeat . It ’ s not the partner . It ’ s the paradigm .

While in this article , I can ’ t explain everything about the new Relationship Development ® paradigm and method that my husband and I invented as a solution to this , I can tell you that our method has solved this “ measuring stick ” pain point and many others . I ’ ll offer you these 3 insights as a starting point .

With Relationship Development , you can replace the old , broken tactics with new and proven skill sets that transform your relationship while also building it up ( instead of tearing it down ).

Your measuring stick is the thing that is actually causing you PAIN , not the reality of what ’ s happening ( or not happening ). Let me explain . The minute YOU apply the MEANING to this dynamic of “ I do MORE ” or “ they don ’ t do enough ”, that ’ s when you feel PAIN about the relationship .

So please know that you are blaming something OUTSIDE of you ( partner , kids ) for something that is actually happening INSIDE your own thoughts . Meaning , you are attaching a meaning “ I don ’ t want to be less-than ” or “ I want to be shown that I matter ” or whatever it is for you .

That meaning is only true in your thoughts and must be solved IN your thoughts so you can be free .

FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS