Oct/Nov 2020 Aspire Magazine FULL Issue | Page 66

66 www . AspireMAG . net | October / November 2020

Emotional intelligence can strengthen your relationship , increase intimacy , and grow love .

yells at you , they might not even be angry at you . They might be feeling stress in another area of their life , which comes out in a manner directed at you . Realization of this allows you not to take it personally and ensures that you do not react in ager .
Once you understand yourself better , it is easier to understand others , and develop empathy for them . Emotional intelligence can strengthen your relationship , increase intimacy , and grow love . It is a lifelong process to continue to learn , improve , and refine .

Identify Emotions

Start by noticing how you feel and label those feelings . There are so many more feelings than happy , sad , and angry . You might be frustrated , disappointed , worried , to name a few . I suggest stopping during the day to notice how you feel . Don ’ t just say , “ I am upset .” Dig deeper to discover if there is another feeling below feeling “ upset .” Maybe you feel hurt . By better understanding what you are feeling , you can move to the next step in developing emotional intelligence .

Unlearn Emotional Bad Habits

Take time to consider how your emotions affect your thoughts and actions . You can ’ t control your initial reaction to a situation , but you can learn to control the thoughts that follow , which will ultimately determine the decisions you make . Most people have an immediate reaction to situations based on beliefs they learned early in life . Such beliefs may or may not serve your present best interests . We often react to situations based on these outdated beliefs , later regretting our words or actions . Our reactions may not have much to do with the event . It may have more to do with what our mind is telling you the event means , causing beliefs to be triggered . It is beneficial to identify the patterns to learn appropriate ways of responding and communicating .

Practice mindfulness

The best way to practice mindfulness is to pause when you experience strong emotions and give yourself time to process those feelings before acting on them . Stop and observe your thoughts behind the feelings . What are you telling yourself about the interaction ? Are you sure your interpretation is accurate , or would it be beneficial to ask for clarification ? There are numerous ways of looking at a situation . Even if the other

66 www . AspireMAG . net | October / November 2020