Dec/Jan 2024 Aspire Magazine FULL Issue | Page 28

you , yet you know , of course , that the road is longer than thirty feet .

But – we forget this fact when it comes to our dreams , goals , and desires .

“ Don ’ t start a business , most fail within the first three years .” “ Don ’ t travel by yourself , it ’ s too dangerous .” “ Don ’ t leave that relationship . You might be alone forever .” “ Don ’ t become an artist , you ’ ll never make any money …”

All too often , we ’ re told something isn ’ t realistic , and we cling to that . If you ’ re told “ no ”, your brain tells you “ It ’ s not realistic .” If you try and fail , your brain tells you “ It ’ s not realistic .” When we defer to what other people say is realistic , we cling to selflimiting ideas .

Like the road hidden beyond the glow of headlights , and the kid behind a couch thinking they ’ re hidden when they ’ re not , the reason what you want feels so elusive , unrealistic , or frustrating is you have been socially programmed to believe status quo conventions and false constructs – also known as “ brules .”

In writing my book The Brules of Life , I adopted the word brule – sassy slang ( you can find it in Urban Dictionary ) for “ bullshit rule .” One way to spot a brule is to look for social constructs or commonly held beliefs that are so baked-in to our cultural understanding and worldview that they generally go unnoticed and unquestioned . Until we break such brules , they ’ ll keep us from believing in our dreams and goals .

Like , for example , “ Be Realistic .” People said the computer would never change the world .

Going from NY to London in less than a day , was a fool ’ s tale . It wasn ’ t all that long ago that phones were connected to the wall and talking to someone on the other side of the ocean while seeing their face on a screen seemed incomprehensible ! Now we do all of it while 35,000 feet in the sky .

Your definition of “ realistic ” is a direct reflection of your current level of belief and your current level of understanding about the Realm of the Possible .

While it ’ s important to acknowledge the indisputable impact and influence of systemic brules in our world ( brules about gender , race , age , ablism , class , culture …), it ’ s also important to discover the ways we unknowingly limit ourselves .

This happens when we believe our own BS or adopt social conditioning and make “ brules ” our own . It ’ s like putting a hand in front of your face and saying , “ You can ’ t see me , right ?”

When we put our hand in front of our face , we see our hand , but we can ’ t see every other thing around us , every other possibility , every other option .

When we get stuck in life , it ’ s like walking around with a hand in front of our face , and “ unrealistic ” becomes anything outside of that . In other words , sometimes your dreams seem unrealistic because you can ’ t see them . And you can ’ t see them because of brules .