Dec/Jan 2024 Aspire Magazine FULL Issue | Page 20

Sometimes it ’ s hard to self soothe when our inner critics shit all over our brains like demon-possessed parrots . You want to feel better , but your negative thoughts make it impossible . Inner critics are destructive for a reason : they ’ re trying to protect us . For example , my inner critic says BS like this : If you don ’ t look or act a certain way , you won ’ t be loved . You ’ ll be left . I don ’ t want you to experience that , so I ’ m going to shut you down or shame you back in line to avoid rejection . What a sweetie pie , right ?

As much as we want to avoid them , inner critics need our love , because they ’ re in a lot of pain . A question for you to ponder as you soothe your critic : What if the opposite of what you ’ re feeling about yourself were true ? Think

about it for a second . It ’ s certainly possible , isn ’ t it ? Just as bad stuff can happen , so too can good stuff . Here ’ s another question that can help your brain get on a better track : What would your best friend say about this ? I doubt she ’ d be as douchey as you ( and I ) can be to ourselves — because she ’ s your best frickin ’ friend . And my personal favorite : What does love see ? Love doesn ’ t think you ’ re worthless , incapable , unintelligent , weak , and all the other awful things you may believe when you ’ re out of sorts . Love sees you for who you truly are , a valuable and wonderful person . When self-attacking thoughts take hold , lean on love .

My go-to way of working through these questions is by journaling . There ’ s just something about writing this stuff out that gives me perspective . The goal here is to give your inner critic kinder thoughts to ponder so you can take care of your feelings .