loved , or not to fail . Thank them both for how hard they work to protect you so you don ’ t experience these unpleasant experiences .

Now that you have gotten to know some of your inner world see what it is like to notice these multiple parts of you . These parts feel like you and believe they are you . With space and separation , the café table between you , they can see you are there , too , and you can have an open , curious dialogue together .

Experience more of you when you make checking in with parts a habit .

You can do this same exercise with any part of you that you would like to get to know whether that is a feeling , a belief or a behavior . Take a breath , smile . Imagine space between curious , open-hearted you and this symptom , characteristic , or trait . Say Hello . Extend your attention to it . Notice what this feels like : there is me and a part of me who is experiencing this pain , feeling , thought . I can be with it . I can have a relationship to it . It is not all of me .

You know it is not all of you because you have another part reacting to it . Whatever you are experiencing right now , check inside and see if there is not another part who has something to say or a feeling about it .

Instead of this causing the turmoil it usually does , imagine inviting both parts up to the table to have a conversation with you . Notice the curiosity , the softening , the harmony you experience when you befriend all the parts of you .

Make a habit of noticing parts of you throughout the day . When you notice thoughts , “ I wish he wouldn ’ t talk to me that way !” That is a part . Or a belief , “ Nobody likes me ! I can ’ t do anything right !” Those are parts . When you notice feeling sad , mad , embarrassed , or upset that is a part . When you notice bodily sensations in your gut and chest this could be a part , too . If you aren ’ t sure , you can ask inside , “ Is there are a part here trying to tell me something ?”

By identifying parts and being curious about their role in your life , you can experience more harmony between your inner and outer worlds .

TAMMY SOLLENBERGER – Tammy Sollenberger is a licensed clinical mental health counselor with a busy private practice in New Hampshire . She believes we all can experience a more harmonious and connected existence no matter what our past or present experiences when we bring curiosity to all those noisy voices inside . She is a certified Internal Family Systems therapist and produces and hosts a podcast called “ The One Inside .” Available on Apple , Spotify , Stitcher and Google Music . She is the author of The One Inside : 30 Days to Your Authentic Self . Learn more at www . tammysollenberger . com

WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH