Get to know the part who wants to make the change and the one who does not .

Imagine taking these parts out for coffee or tea as you would likable friends you are curious to understand . As you experience this space between you as the table separates you , ask these parts if they notice your openness . See if they are aware that they are not you and you are not them . They are both parts of you with positive intention for you . These parts are used to arguing with one another . See how it is to be together with openness and friendliness from you .

Befriending both parts and finding out how they are trying to help you .

Look back and forth between both parts and ask yourself if you are feeling open hearted towards both . If you are not , this is another part . Ask it to leave the table so you can be with both with more curiosity . Let both ‘ change ’ parts know you want to hear from each one and they will take turns talking to you .

Choose one to start with and ask it how it is trying to help you , and what it is afraid would happen if you didn ’ t make this change or if you did make this change . Ask it if there is anything else it wants you to know and what it needs from you .

Thank it for talking to you and turn towards the other part . After you have spent time with both , see if they have a similar agenda such as , they both want you to be happy , safe ,