Aug/Sept 2023 Aspire Magazine FULL Issue | Page 22

subconscious belief in adults is far more widespread than its opposite . It ’ s hard to get through indoctrination into our culture without storing away some version of this belief . When that ’ s our underlying foundation , and then we ’ re repeatedly told , “ do your best ,” it ’ s easy for this directive to become skewed into a self-abusive mantra , a box we don ’ t ever feel we can truly check , because surely there is always a next level we could get to if we were doing our absolute best .

We humans have evolved as a species to the point where our physical survival is pretty much ensured on a day-to-day basis ( at least for most of us in our advanced Western world ), yet our brains haven ’ t collectively evolved at the same pace . We ’ re still wired with primitive brain programming rooted in competition , scarcity mentality , and a jacked-up survival instinct that is out of sync with our actual , contemporary odds at surviving the day we ’ re in . That means our unrelenting demand on ourselves to constantly “ do better ” often feels like a matter of survival , though it rarely is . Understanding this outdated , primitive brain programming can help us remember to relax more , to be present more , and to tune into our inner wisdom rather than our reactive , self-critical thinking . What if that voice in your head always admonishing you to do better is just a now-irrelevant , habitual echo of some long-ago programming that you ’ ve never thought to question or challenge ?

In the words of my teacher Michael Bernard Beckwith , “ In our fast-paced society , if we aren ’ t scrambling to attain or possess something , we label ourselves as lazy . However , when we live in a consciousness of trust , we are serene , creatively active , yet patient .” The energetic truth is that you are much more powerful and much better positioned to achieve your desires when you embody this serene mindset of trust than when you are perpetually berating yourself to do better .

Only you get to decide what “ doing your best ” means for you , and most of us need to lower the bar . If you still insist on doing your best at something , how about this : Try doing your best at balance , at giving yourself some grace , some leeway , and some genuine compassion . Can you challenge yourself to do your absolute best at loving and honoring your journey and your own sweet , precious soul in ever more respectful ways ? I promise you there is no more worthy objective than the goal of becoming kinder and gentler with your own tender self . You are doing just fine .

LISA MCCOURT - Lisa is the author of many books about joy and love that have sold over 9 million copies , as well as host of the Do Joy ! Podcast and Founder of Joy School at www . LisaMcCourt . com . Her newest book is Free Your Joy : The 12 Keys to Sustainable Happiness .