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skill-building in whatever area you ’ ve identified your skills need enhancement ?
Please stop , darling . Please stop doing your best . You ’ ve been programmed to believe it ’ s what ’ s expected of you ; it ’ s the messaging our society perpetuates , but it ’ s time we reevaluate this ubiquitous and confounding goal . Doing your best is exhausting , especially when that little voice in your head is constantly bullying you into doing your best at everything all at once . How would that even be possible ?
The truth is we simply cannot be our objective best at all things at all times . If you were a student right now , for instance , doing your absolute best at being a student would mean studying at the exclusion of many other things . Being the absolute best student you could possibly be would likely cause you to neglect your relationships , neglect your creative outlets and taking the time and care to feed your body in nourishing ways . It would mean neglecting fun , and relaxation , and idleness — all of which are essential components of a meaningful existence !
Maybe , like me , you ’ re a fan of don Miguel Ruiz ’ s classic spiritual book , The Four Agreements , and you have internalized the final agreement to “ Always Do Your Best .” I adore this book and have taught from it in my Joy School for decades . Miguel Ruiz Jr . is my friend and a frequent guest teacher at my Joy School , and I ’ ve discussed this issue with him upon multiple occasions . Please know that he does not want you to take this fourth Agreement to unhealthy extremes based on misinterpretation of the Ruiz messaging around the suggestion to always to do your best .
The problem — and the solution — lies in the fact that that our “ best ” is a matter of
DOING YOUR BEST IS EXHAUSTING , ESPECIALLY WHEN THAT LITTLE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD IS CONSTANTLY BULLYING YOU INTO DOING YOUR BEST AT EVERYTHING ALL AT ONCE .
self-assessment . Most of us have been programmed to assess ourselves far too harshly . From the time we ’ re fresh new humans here , our ( generally ) well-meaning caregivers push us to be better and better at the things they believe will enhance our existence . We ’ re pushed to get the best grades , to behave according to whatever best behavior expectations are laid out for us , and are often pushed to compete and excel in things like sports or musical or artistic achievement even when these pursuits are more about pleasing others than about our own joy in expressing what ’ s alive for us . It ’ s just where our culture is right now . Parents and teachers think they ’ re doing young people a disservice if they aren ’ t continually pushing them to be ever-better versions of themselves , whatever that means in the grownups ’ eyes .
Too often , however , the resulting belief that ’ s internalized by impressionable young souls is , “ I ’ m not good enough the way I am .” Having worked with hundreds of joy seekers , I can tell you that this lingering
WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH
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