Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) Aug/Sept 2017 Aspire Mag Full Issue | Page 21

So I created a Self-Love Experiment. What is it you might ask? The Self-Love Experiment is a challenge I gave myself to become my own best friend. It was born out of a desperate need to feel more connected to my life and myself. I wanted to know what it was like to live at peace with myself in my body and finally end the war I had been carrying on inside myself for more than three decades. Was it possible that this battle might finally subside? I wanted to find out, so I set out on a giant adventure. Before my Self-Love Experiment, self- criticism formed the backbone of my relationship with myself. I was always attacking myself in my mind, overanalyzing everything I did. Nothing I ever did was good enough for me. I wanted to know what it would feel like to go an entire day without criticizing myself or feeling like I didn’t measure up. “Heck,” I thought, “it would be nice to go even an hour without this inner critic beating me down.” So I set out to work on myself, for myself, and by myself. Creating a “Self-Love Experiment,” or practice is essential for our happiness. It is the foundation for everything we truly want in life. There are certain steps you can take to create your own fulfilling practice. STEP 1: Identify Your Patterns For over three decades, I didn’t just dislike myself—I actively went out of my way to sabotage myself. Although I didn’t know it at the time, I was indeed treating myself like dirt. All through my twenties I picked inappropriate men who were not right for me in myriad ways: drug addicts, unavailable men, or men who were super clingy and liked the idea of me rather than who I really was. All my relationships were superficial. I overspent, overate, overworked, all in an effort to avoid the sinking sensation that perhaps there might be a gentler, kinder, and more compassionate way to live. I first had to identify my patterns in order to break them and free myself from the self- sabotaging behavior. Identify your patterns, the situations you keep finding yourself in, that no longer serves you. As you recognize them you will begin to see how they are no longer helping you and you can release them for good. STEP 2: Talk About and to Yourself in a Positive Light When I looked around at my circle of friends, my family, and in society, it became obvious that most people don’t really love themselves. It’s not that we don’t want to. We just don’t know how. And most of us aren’t talking about it. We aren’t walking around saying we don’t love ourselves; rather, it’s in our behavior, our way of existing. It’s in our constant quest to be happier, skinner, 21 CREATING A “SELF-LOVE EXPERIMENT,” OR PRACTICE IS ESSENTIAL FOR OUR HAPPINESS.