The reasons for relationship turbulence are varied , but there ’ s generally a combination of issues that have eroded the relationship overtime . Mending a damaged relationship takes two people who are willing to do the work to heal the relationship . So , the first question you and your significant other must answer is , “ do we want to heal this relationship ?” Take your time with this question and answer honestly .
If you both have decided that you are willing to embark on the beautiful healing journey , here are 5 ways to heal a damaged relationship using the PEACE method .
The 5-part PEACE method :
P is for Present Moment . Make the decision to forgive the past . This is a big step , and it requires that you relinquish your right to be angry , sulk , or seek revenge . Instead , you decide that today is more important than yesterday . This does not mean that you do not openly discuss the events that damaged the relationship , but it does mean that when your partner speaks you make every effort to listen with an open heart , without judgement or condemnation . You make every effort to understand your partner . Lower your defenses and listen .
E is for Express Yourself . Communication is key in any healthy relationship . Expressing yourself openly and honestly is as important as listening with an open heart . Allow yourself to be vulnerable and transparent . This can be difficult when you feel hurt and unsafe but remember you and your partner have decided that the relationship is worth healing and that means that you must show up as your authentic self . You must be willing to express what you are feeling without attempting to shame or blame your partner . This is your opportunity to use statements like ; “ currently I feel lonely and disconnected , but I love you and I want to feel connected and supported .”
A is for Awareness of Self . It ’ s time to give yourself some much-needed attention . Take an honest inventory of who you have been and how you have been showing up in the relationship . Have your needs changed ? Have your goals changed ? Do not judge yourself . Be loving and kind as you honestly look at your behavior . If you ’ re like most of us you will discover that you are not perfect and that you have also made mistakes in the relationship . Take this opportunity to completely forgive yourself . Self-awareness helps you feel more whole , complete , and wise . As you learn to accept and love yourself you can begin to work on the areas within yourself that you want to improve . Self-awareness helps you see your part in the damaged relationship so that you can genuinely ask your partner for forgiveness .
C is for Conflict . Learn to lean into conflict . Yes , you read that correctly , lean into conflict . You and your partner are uniquely designed , and you both have different opinions , different needs , and different ways of expressing yourselves . There will be conflict . If you believe you can close your eyes to avoid dealing with conflict you will discover that attempting to avoid conflict eventually results in larger issues . When you make the decision to face the conflicts with love and a genuine desire to learn more about your needs and your partners needs you improve
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