Sometimes it is hard to recognize or name these feelings , so here are some signs that might indicate a violation of emotional boundaries :
• internal or external frustration
• a feeling of walking on eggshells
• resentment
• anxiety
• increased stress
• feeling incompetent
• feeling selfish
• guilt
• fear
If you find yourself experiencing one of more of these emotions on a regular basis , it may be an indicator that someone is violating your emotional limits . As you become aware of these broken boundaries , consider drawing some fresh boundary lines . It can feel overwhelming , so start small . For example , if someone has patterned themselves to press your emotional limits and has a pattern of minimizing your feelings , the next time it happens , try saying , “ Please allow me to feel how I feel . When you say ‘ I shouldn ’ t feel that way ,’ it dismisses my emotional freedom .”
Guardrails exist for a reason . They enable adventure but make safety a top priority . Practice establishing the same safety considerations to enable your very best relationship adventures .
Based on the book Relationship Essentials . Copyright © Lauren Reitsema and Joneen Mackenzie . Reprinted with permission from New World Library . www . NewWorldLibrary . com
LAUREN REITSEMA & JONEEN MACKENZIE - Lauren Reitsema serves on the executive leadership team at CRE ( the Center for Relationship Education ). She regularly speaks on the subject of relationship education to teens , adults , and corporate teams . Joneen Mackenzie , an RN and former 1st Lt . in the USAF Nurse Corps , founded CRE , which has certified more than 15,000 educators in its REAL Essentials relationship skills curricula . She participates in national public health standards policy through numerous board memberships . The authors live in Colorado . Learn more at
www . myrelationshipcenter . org .
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“ Setting limits on what you will and will not listen to in relationships can save you from conflict and discord .”
Lauren Reitsema ¬¬
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