you might say , “ I ’ m so thankful I get time with you tonight . I wanted to let you know I made a commitment to read my daughter a story at eight o ’ clock , so I ’ ll have to leave at 7:45 .”

4 . Be fully present during the time you designate for interpersonal connection . Turn off phones , ask open-ended questions , and have a plan for enjoying and engaging in activity together .

Setting limits on what you will and will not listen to in relationships can save you from conflict and discord . Auditory limits come in many forms . For example , in your home or workplace you may choose not to tolerate the following :

• explicit language

• bigoted speech

• hurtful gossip

• self-deprecating , critical speech

• constant pessimism and negativity

Setting auditory limits does not mean refusing to listen to different opinions and perspectives . Everyone has the right to enjoy and express their own opinions and thoughts , but when conflicting thoughts and opinions freely circulate without boundaries , relationships often suffer .

Have you ever noticed social behavior patterns in a self-seating restaurant or bar ? In Western culture , we naturally choose tables that are spaced apart from one another , and , unless the room is crowded , we are put off by a stranger coming and sitting right next to us . We have instinctive notions of personal space that prompt us step back when others come too close . As we get to know and trust a person , we begin to feel more comfortable reducing the space between us . Physical space preferences are not universal ; they vary with country and culture . Regardless of your background , however , physical limits are an important part of healthy relationships .

Answer these questions to help define physical limits in your relationships :

• Are you a hugger ? If so , when and how often are hugs appropriate ?

• How close is too close for you when communicating with a stranger ?

• In romantic relationships , what level of physical intimacy is desired and appropriate for you and your partner ?

Honoring emotional boundaries means separating your feelings from someone else ’ s , understanding how transparent you are willing to be with others , and respecting the emotional process of the other person .