even seem momentarily possible . The trouble is , ignoring pain does not remove the traumas we ’ ve all lived through . On the other hand , making that trauma the only important thing in your life prolongs the pain . Healing lies in integrating ( rather than forgetting or being consumed by ) what we ’ ve experienced . When we allow past experiences to be a part of our lives , we can utilize those lessons learned and tools gained in our present , to craft a meaningful future . Rather than fight to return to a past version of our lives , what if we explore the ways the pandemic has changed us and make our goal the building of a life for the new version of ourselves that has been born through this life altering experience ?
This concept of the interconnectedness of past , present , and future is called integration — the blending of all our experience into a single whole . This simple idea provides a life- changing lens of perception that can be used as a dynamic healing tool for mending our hearts and living a full and meaningful life . In my experience — in my life , my research , and my work with others , particularly related to widowhood — I ’ ve found integration to be the foundation upon which transformation happens . pattern shapes and reshapes our lived experience to provide our minds and hearts with ever changing information about the world around us .
Living through a pandemic has changed you . What have you learned about yourself ? How has your perspective changed ? Have your priorities been shifted by the challenges of the past two years ? How are you different right now , and importantly , what does this version of you need to live a meaningful life ? When you allow yourself to ask these questions with an open mind , the answers might surprise you . We have the power to redefine normal . We don ’ t have to participate in the attempt to return to a past version of our world . We ’ ve lived through too much , learned too much , changed too much , for an old version of normal to be a real option .
Here ’ s the good news , when we allow ourselves to be changed by the experiences that break our hearts , that acknowledgement paves the way for healing .
Based on the book Different After You . Copyright © 2022 by Michele Neff Hernandez . Reprinted with permission from New World Library . www . NewWorldLibrary . com
HEALTH & WELLNESS
Our past , present , and future are irrevocably connected . As we make our way through our daily lives , we count on the continuity between past , present , and future to provide a frame of reference for daily decisions , large and small . Access to resources and experiences from our past shape the decisions we make , the quality of the relationships we have , and the way we process and acclimate to every life experience . We are constantly processing the past and creating the future , while living in the present . This cyclical
MICHELE NEFF HERNANDEZ - Michele Neff Hernandez , author of Different after You and 2021 CNN Hero , is a gifted speaker and committed advocate for the widowed and bereaved . Her creation of Camp Widow and Soaring Spirits has brought her international acclaim . Michele regularly speaks to first responders , hospital workers , religious congregations , and diverse community organizations . She lives in Southern California . More information at
www . micheleneffhernandez . com .
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