Healing lies in integrating ( rather than forgetting or being consumed by ) what we ’ ve experienced . When we allow past experiences to be a part of our lives , we can utilize those lessons learned and tools gained in our present , to craft a meaningful future .
can get back to a past version of normal , they create a new normal focused on their pain . Since we each process trauma in our own way , there are a million versions of these two styles of coping . But let ’ s consider these two as we think about our personal experience of living with the impact of COVID-19 .
Whatever your world view or political leaning , we ’ ve all been impacted over the past two years by the global pandemic . Some of us have mourned loved ones , many without the opportunity to offer comfort and care during their last days . Medical professionals have held phones and tablets up for patients to receive parting words from their loved ones . Jobs , businesses , and livelihoods have been lost . Life experiences and milestones for kids have been missed or altered beyond recognition . Grandchildren have been born and held up outside of windows to meet their grandparents . Isolation has been a part of every person ’ s life in one way or another . How do we process this trauma ? Will we ever get back to normal ? Will the familiar world return ?
No . We can ’ t get back to the old normal and the world will not return to the way it was before COVID-19 entered our lives . This reality is both the bad news , and the good news .
Traumatic events are by definition , life altering . We can ’ t help but be changed by the experiences that are so impactful that nothing is exactly the same afterwards . When we set returning to ‘ normal ’ as our goal after our world has been turned upside down by something awful , we are setting ourselves up for failure . Life can ’ t be the same version of normal , because of what has happened .
You know things that you didn ’ t know before ... Zoom anyone ? Your perspective has changed because of both what you ’ ve lost and what you ’ ve learned . You can ’ t unknow what you now know . This is the reality of lifealtering experiences , naivety doesn ’ t return . If someone you love has died , your world is altered and won ’ t ever be exactly the same . If your life has been changed by a disease or violence or divorce or the loss of something not named here ... life won ’ t ever be exactly the same . It can ’ t be . Which means that the trauma associated with living through the pandemic will change not only our world , but each of us .
What happened to us ( individually and collectively ) matters . Trying to forget awful experiences can be terribly tempting and