April/May 2022 Aspire Magazine FULL Issue | Page 45

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Getting Back to NORMAL

HEALTH & WELLNESS
BY MICHELE NEFF HERNANDEZ

After something awful happens ... a death , a divorce , the loss of a job or a home or a way of life ... we often make ‘ returning to normal ’ a personal goal for healing . Returning to that elusive ‘ normal ’ state suggests that whatever has happened to us hasn ’ t changed us . The logic goes something like this ... if we aren ’ t changed in any way by the difficult experiences we live through , then the bad stuff doesn ’ t win . We win if we can return to ‘ normal .’

In order to achieve this ‘ win ’, we have to do something with the trauma we ’ ve experienced . Some people allow their trauma a place in their lives for the short term . They deal with the immediate aftermath of whatever has happened , but once that first to-do list is complete ( usually involving the logistical issues associated with their experience ) they try to push the trauma back to the farthest corner of their heart and mind . Other people make the awful experience the center of their lives . Rather than pretend they

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